Don't lose faith when you see others receive answers to their prayers

An elephant and a dog became pregnant at same time.
Three months down the line the dog gave birth to six puppies. Six months later the dog was pregnant again and nine months on it gave birth to another dozen puppies. The pattern continued.
On the eighteenth month the dog approached the elephant questioning, _"Are you sure that you are pregnant? We became pregnant on the same date. I have given birth three times to a dozen puppies and they are now grown to become big dogs, yet you are still pregnant.
Whats going on?"._
The elephant replied, _"There is something I want you to understand.
What I am carrying is not a puppy but an elephant. I only give birth to one in two years.
When my baby hits the ground, the earth feels it. When my baby crosses the road, human beings stop and watch in admiration, what I carry draws attention. So what I'm carrying is mighty and great."._
Don't lose faith when you see others receive answers to their prayers.
Don't be envious of others testimony. If you haven't received your own blessings, don't despair. Say to yourself "My time is coming, and when it hits the surface of the earth, people shall yield in admiration."

Six great confusions still unresolved

Six great confusions still unresolved 😄😂

1. At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?

2. In the word scent, is "S"  silent or "C"?

3. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?

4. Why is there a 'D' in fridge,
but not in refrigerator?

5. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?

And now sixer ....

 6. If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be...congress?

Vagaries of English Language! Enjoy!!!😀😀😀

- Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?

-Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?

- How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?

- If money doesn't grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?

- If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

- How do you get off a non-stop Flight?

- Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?

- Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?

- Why do doctors 'practice' medicine? Are they having practice at the cost of the patients?

- Why is it called 'Rush Hour' when traffic moves at its slowest then?

- How come Noses run and Feet smell?

- Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?

- What are you  vacating when you go on a vacation?

We can never find the answers, can we?

What is a notice period

Well Said!!😊☺️😉

Question - What is a notice period?

Answer - The notice period is the time when the company actually starts noticing you.(after submitting your resignation)

Letter written by an HR executive to his love:

Letter written by an HR executive to his love:

Dearest Romio,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Sunday).


With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your brother, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,

More 

ME and MY BOSS

ME and MY BOSS !!

When I Take a long time to finish,
I Am Slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
He Is Thorough



When I don't do it,
I Am Lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
He Is Busy,

When I do something without being told,
I Am Trying To Be Smart,
When my boss does the same,
He Takes The Initiative,

When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
He is cooperating,

When I make a mistake,
I Am An Idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
He's Only Human.

When I am out of the office,
I Am Wondering Around.
When my boss is out of the office,
He's On Business.

When I am on a day off sick,
I Am Always Sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
He Must Be Very Ill.

When I apply for leave,
I Must Be Going For An Interview.
When my boss applies for leave,
It's Because He's Overworked

When I do good,
My Boss Never Remembers,
When I do wrong,
He Never Forgets

Dedicated to all Salaried people..
More 

Funny Leave Application

Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave.

More

Leave-letter from a CDAC employee

Leave-letter from a CDAC employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

More

Leave From H.A.L. Administration Dept:

Leave From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it please grant me 10 days leave."

Leave From an employee who was performing the mundan ceremony

Leave From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:

"As I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days..

More

Funny Half Day Leave

Employee applied for half-day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o'clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

More

Hilarious HR Interviews indeed

Best interview of the year.....Leaked the questions n answers for u :P Hilarious HR Interviews indeed : Interviewers ask routine questions to candidates ....Some weird answers.... Q - Tell us about yourself ? A - Yourself is a pronoun used when the subject and the object of the verb are you. 🤓 Q - What are your expectations ? A - Salary. 🤑 Q - What challenges did you face in your previous job ? A - Staying awake after lunch !! 😴 Q - Why do you want to join our company ? A - Nobody else is taking me. Your company is closer to my home.... 😋 Q - What attracts you to our company ? A - The receptionist !! 😍 Q - Why did you leave your previous job ? A - Previous company shifted the office and they didn't tell me the new address !! 🙄 Q -Are you willing to travel 20 days in a month ? A - Yes...but just don't ask me where I had gone...!!

Main aim of a HR Manager is to satisfy employee with minimum investments

Wife - Lets go for a dinner tonight.

Husband (HR Manager) - Ok.

Husband - Should we go to a cheaper restaurant ?

Wife - No. Let's go to Royal Palace hotel.

Husband - (silence for a minute) - Ok, See you at 7.O 'Clock.

On the way, around 6.30 pm...

Husband - Once upon a time, I had pani puri competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris and defeated me.

Wife - What's so difficult in it?

Husband - Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is so difficult.

Wife - I can easily beat you.

Husband - Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.

Wife - Let us have that competition right now.

Husband - So you want to see yourself defeated?

Wife - Let's see.

They both stop at a Pani-puri stall and start eating...

After about 30 Pani-puris the husband gave up.

The wife was also full, but to defeat her husband, she ate one more and shouted, *"You lose."*

The bill was Rs 50/- and wife was back home and happy as she won the bet.

Moral of the Story...

*Main aim of a HR Manager is to satisfy employee with minimum investments. Winning attitude with less investment, ensuring strong Return On Investment

Don't Marry a Software Engineer

Don't Marry a Software Engineer
> > HUSBAND - HAI DEAR,I AM LOGGED IN.
> > WIFE - HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE SAREE.
> > HUSBAND - BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME.
> > WIFE - BUT I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT IN MORNING
> > HUSBAND - ERRONEOUS SYNTAX, ABORT,RETRY,CANCEL.
> > WIFE - HAE BHAGWAN !FORGET IT WHERE'S YOUR SALARY.
> > HUSBAND - FILE IN USE,READ ONLY,TRY AFTER SOME TIME.
> > WIFE - ATLEAST GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD,I CAN DO SOME SHOPPING.
> > HUSBAND - SHARING VIOLATION,ACCESS DENIED.
> > WIFE - I MADE A MISTAKE IN MARRING YOU.
> > HUSBAND - DATA TYPE MISMATCH.
> > WIFE - YOU ARE USELESS.
> > HUSBAND - BY DEFAULT.
> > WIFE - WHO WAS THERE WITH YOU IN THE CAR THIS MORNING.
> > HUSBAND - SYSTEM UNSTABLE,PRESS Ctrl+Alt+Del, TO
> > REBOOT.
> > WIFE - WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SOME SNACKS ?
> > HUSBAND - HARD DISK FULL.
> > WIFE - WHAT IS THE RELATION BETWEEN YOU & YOUR RECEPTIONIST.
> > HUSBAND - THE ONLY USER WITH WRITE PERMISSION.
> > WIFE - WHAT IS MY VALUE IN YOUR LIFE.
> > HUSBAND - UNKNOWN VIRUS DETECTED.
> > WIFE - DO YOU LOVE ME OR YOUR COMPUTER.
> > HUSBAND - TOO MANY PARAMETERS.
>
> > WIFE - I WILL GO TO MY DADS HOUSE.
> > HUSBAND - PROGRAM PERFORMED ILLEGAL OPERATION,IT WILL CLOSE.
> > WIFE - I WILL LEAVE YOU FOR EVER.
> > HUSBAND - CLOSE ALL PROGRAMS & LOG OUT FOR ANOTHER USER.
> > WIFE - IT IS WORTHLESS TALKING TO YOU
> > HUSBAND - SHUT DOWN THE COMPUTER.
> > WIFE - I AM GOING
> > HUSBAND - ITS NOW SAFE TO TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER.

Who is Programmer

- A machine that turn coffee into code.
- A person who fixed problem that you didn't know you have, in a way you don't understand. 

Don't Marry a Software Engineer

Don't Marry a Software Engineer

> > HUSBAND - HI DEAR,I AM LOGGED IN.
> > WIFE - HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE SAREE.
> > HUSBAND - BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME.
> > WIFE - BUT I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT IN MORNING
> > HUSBAND - ERRONEOUS SYNTAX, ABORT,RETRY,CANCEL.

Aarti Google Maharaj Ki

Aarti Google Maharaj Ki

Waiting for Bonus

Waiting for Bonus....

Bhagavad Gita Summary for Programmers

Bhagavad Gita Summary for Programmers

One Extra Bedroom

As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Soft ware Engineering and joined a company
based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity.

If you have been in IT industry too long these are your symptoms

1.) U use phrases like “No issues” and “Value addition” in everyday parlance. For e.g. When talking about your doodhwalla, U say, “His milk does zero value addition to my health but he is the only guy around so no issues”